


but the drink and my wandering hands

by Adi_mou



Category: Buzzfeed Unsolved (Web Series), Watcher Entertainment RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - Pirate, Alternate Universe - Pirates of the Caribbean Fusion, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-12
Updated: 2020-12-12
Packaged: 2021-03-10 20:54:52
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,905
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28033476
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Adi_mou/pseuds/Adi_mou
Summary: "It’s so unfair, right?” Ryan continued. “All I ever wanted was to be in an adventure with you, and now that I am, so far I’ve lost my best friend, most of my clothes -”“Yeah that tends to happen-”“And, as disappointing as you are, you’re just...just,” Ryan gestures at Shane’s entire face. “Every time I look at you, I still think wow. That’s Captain Madej. Fuck. Fuck.”Pirates of the Caribbean AU.
Relationships: Ryan Bergara & Shane Madej, Ryan Bergara/Shane Madej
Comments: 10
Kudos: 73





	but the drink and my wandering hands

**Author's Note:**

  * For [captaintonystank](https://archiveofourown.org/users/captaintonystank/gifts).



> *shows up four years later after my last fic to write rpf*

There was a hole in his ship. 

There was a _hole_. In his _ship_. 

There was a hole in his ship and he was chained to the bars in his own hold. Shane was not a man quick to anger, but as he stared out at the vast expanse of the shimmering sea through a hole in his ship that definitely had not been there before, he could feel his body heat with something other than alcohol for once. 

“Lim!” Shane hollered, uncaring that it was unlikely anyone above deck would be able to hear him anyway. “You fucking coward, you’re using my own ship against me?” 

There was no answer from Lim, the rat bastard, but another cannonball came barreling through the hole already left by its brethren just minutes before. Shane with a limberness borne of a lifetime of getting out of shit’s way, managed to twist so that instead of him, the cannonball hit the bars of the cell. 

Well, that took care of one problem. The manacles still tied his hands together though, but Shane was not Captain ‘Legs’ Madej for nothing. He could manage. He just needed to get out and make sure his cobbled together mess of a crew did not fuck up getting his ship back. 

He had just managed to shoulder his way into the deck and into the pandemonium when he realized. The Watcher loomed over the Ruining, the eye of Horus on her hull glaring down at his pathetic little replacement ship, no bigger than a fishing trawler compared to her might. 

They were being boarded. 

His crew were scattered, struggling to get their munitions in place. They were fine people, mutiny and imprisoning him in his hold aside, but the Watcher’s crew were experienced, ruthless and most of all, unafraid of dying. Well then. 

Least Shane could do was even the odds a little.

* * *

“How did you-?” Real grunted as he watched Shane dash past, all while deflecting and dodging every enemy bullet and sword. “How the fuck did you get out?”

“Defending will not work,” Shane snapped back, wrapping the chain of his manacles around the neck of the Watcher crew Real was grappling with. The distraction was enough for him to stab into the man’s heart and Shane let him fall to the ground, dead. He snatched the man’s blade before Real could kick it away. “I need you all to start boarding the Watcher, Ruining is not going to make it. We have to take back the Watcher.”

“Shane,” Real shouted, as Shane started hacking away at the oncoming horde of nameless Watcher crew, blade clutched between his interlocked hands. “The plan was to get the governor’s kid back, not get the Watcher back! Shane? SHANE!” 

He ignored him, but was soon aware of a head of curls next to him, fighting equally as hard if not a bit inexperienced. “You were supposed to stay in the cabins,” Shane hissed, and the real governor’s daughter smiled toothily at him. 

“I promised Ryan I’d never abandon him,” Sara Rubin, eldest daughter of the Governor of Batavia, snarked at him. “That includes saving his self sacrificing ass.” 

“Must be some _friend_ , huh?” Shane leered, and nearly got decapitated by a sudden swipe of blade from a man behind him. Sara kicked his legs out from under him and slammed her heel into his face. Shane did not stop to see if he was down or not, just grabbed Sara and pushed closer to the hooks that bound the Ruining to the Watcher. 

Sara latched onto the ropes with a strength that belied her tiny frame. “You with me, Madej?”

Shane laughed even as he pushed a hapless sailor off of her hook and grabbed it for himself. “Let’s fuck Lim up.”

* * *

Well. 

That did not go according to any plan Shane could have made up on the spot, and this was exactly why Shane was so against plans in the first place. But then how was he supposed to know Lim would, in the heat of the fight, decide he wanted to cut his losses and threaten to kill the fake governor’s kid?

And how was he supposed to know Sara would fold like a pack of cards and immediately give away that she was the real governor’s daughter. 

And now, she was being tied up and carted away to Lim’s cabin, his crew were being banged about and pushed into the hold, and his new ship was slowly meeting the cold embrace of the ocean. 

_And_ he was being walked on the plank, along with the fake kid. Because Lim was a _bitch._

Balls. Bollocks. It was some real bullshit. 

“You promised you’d let them go,” Sara had shrilled when Lim said Ryan was going to be marooned on the same island as Shane. “You’re going to kill them!”

“I am letting them go,” Lim said in the soft voice of his, as if he just had not killed half of Shane’s crew and put the rest in what was definitely slave labour. “I could have shot them, but I left it to God. One would say I’m being supremely generous, Ms. Rubin.”

Sara had let loose a volley of swears that would have made Shane’s mother blush. Shane’s mother had been a pirate queen. 

“It’ll be okay Sara,” the kid, Ryan, had said, sounding very calm despite the fact he was standing on the very ledge of the plank. Shane had to give him credit for his tenacity. This is Captain Madej we’re talking about, we’ll make it. We’ll get you out of this mess too.”

Well. Nevermind then. He was _fucked_. 

“Taking too long,” Lim’s right-hand man, Ilnyckyj, had snapped. He jabbed at Ryan with the hilt of his sword and Ryan had barely had time to make a surprised _oh_ before he fell ungainly into the water with a loud splash. 

Sara had to be dragged away before she actually managed to overpower the grunt holding her arms. 

“Now Shane,” Lim continued calmly, as if there had been no interruptions. “Same old island as the last time, same old deal, yeah?” He pressed a pistol into Shane’s hand. While Shane was thankful the manacles had been broken during the fight, the cuffs still around his wrists like a parody of silver bracelets. 

The pistol glinted dully in the sun. He knew that pistol. He knew it intimately. 

That pistol had been his only companion for three months, his jailer and his key to freedom at the same time. 

“Why don’t you be a gentleman this time, Stevie, and let me have two pistols?” Shane drawled, not looking up from the pistol in his hand. “One for me and one for the kid?”

“Why don’t you be a gentleman and shoot the kid, Shane?” Lim responded. “Then starve to death yourself.” 

And with those words and a rough push, Shane was falling, _falling_ , down into the cold, harsh embrace of the ocean he loved so much.

* * *

Shane had barely dragged himself out of the water and into the hot, white sands of the island’s beach when the kid rounded on him. 

“Captain Madej, oh thank god,” he said, hands flailing and very different from the calm man on the plank just minutes before. Heh. Shane knew it had been a front. “You were down in the water so long, I was worried you drowned.”

Shane looked at the kid properly for the first time. For someone who was not even the son of the governor of Batavia, the governor sure had sent along most of his navy and _Shane_ , a disgraced bounty hunter, after him when Lim got him kidnapped. 

He must mean a lot to Sara, Shane decided, and as he roved his eyes over Ryan’s body, he could kind of see the point? Ryan was lovely, generally speaking, Asian features and brown skin over a body that, because of how much the white undershirt stuck to him while wet, Shane could see was very well maintained. 

Huh, well at least the view would be a lot nicer this time. 

Ryan was saying something, and Shane only just managed to catch the trail end of it. Kid talked fast. “-what do you think we should do? Build a raft with those trees?” 

Shane squinted at him, wishing he could take his pants off to dry but deciding that it was not worth getting more sand up his ass. It’ll dry quick enough with the sun beating down on them. “You want to build a raft with those coconut trees? You got an axe?” 

“No, but you were on this island before, weren’t you? I’ve read all about you. You must have a backup plan. You’re _Captain_ Legs Madej!” 

Poor kid. “Listen, I don’t know who you think I am but I have a plan alright.” 

Ryan brightened instantly. As Shane waddled his way into the island, towards the clearing he knew the cellar he had built was located. Ryan even helped him dig for the hatch. 

“Is this where you keep your tools?” Ryan asked, and it was comical how fast his face fell at the sign of the haphazardly placed bottles of rum that littered the shallow, hand-made cellar. “Wait...is this-?”

“It? Yeah man, help yourself. Plenty to go around.” 

Ryan, to be quite honest, exploded. 

“What the fuck do you mean, help yourself? You’re Captain Shane Madej! The most revered pirate in the open seas! The scourge of the Royal Navy! The-,”

Shane felt bad for the kid, he really did. But attractive or not, Shane was not here for some scullery maid’s son to be yelling at him about what he was or was not supposed to be. “Listen, kid. Ryan. I don’t know what dumb stories your mother has been telling you, but I have been none of those things for the past ten years.” He picked up one particularly good vintage, just lying on the floor. Huh, he must have stolen this from some commander or another. “The only way I escaped last time was because my hair grew long enough to use as rope.”

“You can’t be serious.” 

“Sorry, Ryan, but everything you know about me is a lie. Now you can drink with me or you can use that pistol to put either of us out of our misery.” 

Shane had placed the pistol on the ground in front of the opening for the cellar, and motioned at Ryan to take it. He knew kids like Ryan. He knew men like Ryan. He would never. 

Ryan actually had the nerve to let out a frustrated scream and stomp away. “It’s a small island,” Shane yelled after him. “Try not to fall into anything, I’m not in the mood for more failed rescue missions!”

All he got back was a very spirited _fuck you_. Well, can’t argue with that.

* * *

Shane was about two bottles deep into his stupor, the setting sun casting a gorgeous glow over the white beach of the island when heavy footsteps next to him made him look up. 

Ryan suited the incandescent glow of the sun like a fish to water. It highlighted every cheekbone and the thin cloth of his shirt, now dry, did not hide the shape of his body at all. He also looked flushed with drink. 

“Found the rum, didn’t you?” Shane drawled, loose limbed and beyond caring one bottle ago. “Come on, baby, join me in the view.”

Ryan looked at him, eyes squinted, then grabbed at the bottle in Shane’s hand. Shane did not bother to hide how he was looking at the kid, the line of his throat as he tilted the bottle to his mouth. He was quite the improvement in the view from last time, definitely. 

“You know,” Ryan said, falling to his knees next to him. Shane startled, tried to inch back but Ryan loped an arm around him and kept him close. “You used to be my hero.”

He was so close Shane could count his lashes. Ryan’s eyes were golden and glazed over.

“Sorry to disappoint,” Shane whispered. “But that’s really on you, isn’t it?” 

Ryan continued as if he hadn’t heard him. “I used to make my governess tell me about you, constantly. She told me I was too old for stories, but she’d always give in.” 

Then, with rough strength, he grabbed at Shane’s collar and dragged him closer. Shane could feel his breath hot on his face. “It’s so unfair, right?” Ryan continued. “All I ever wanted was to be in an adventure with you, and now that I am, so far I’ve lost my best friend, most of my clothes -”

“Yeah that tends to happen-”

“And, as disappointing as you are, you’re just...just,” Ryan gestures at Shane’s entire face. “Every time I look at you, I still think wow. That’s Captain Madej. Fuck. Fuck.”

He pushed Shane straight into the sand with a sudden vehemence, climbing astride him with dizzying speed. Shane had no idea what the actual fuck was going on, but Ryan was warm and it had been ages since he’d had anyone. His hands went around his waist automatically. 

“I hate your face,” Ryan said miserably, brushing his lips against Shane’s. “Fuck me.”

“Okay, why don’t we take it down a notch?” Shane felt like he had to say. “You literally just met me.”

“You’ve fucked people you never spoke to,” Ryan said with drunken relish. “Come on, at least fulfil one of my fucking dreams.”

He was so drunk, Shane decided, but let it never be said Shane was one to turn down things that were being offered to him, even if drunkenly. Ryan started rocking against him slowly, and fuck, that felt good. He slumped into the crook of Shane’s neck, snuffling wetly. 

“I’m going to ruin you,” Shane muttered, feeling Ryan’s lips on his neck. “You have no idea what I could do.”

There was a snore. 

Oh. 

Well then. 

Nevermind.

* * *

Shane woke to the smell of ash and smoke. His eyes watered and his lungs burned. 

Oh fuck. 

He bolted upright, scattering bottles from last night. Ryan was nowhere to be seen. But half the island was on fire, black smoke billowing upwards into the open, blue sky, and he knew just what had caused it. 

“You fucker,” he shouted as he neared the edge of the beach where sand met grass, exactly where Ryan was using his wonderfully vintage rum as kerosene. “Do you have any fucking idea what you have done?”

“Better than just sitting around doing nothing, like you!” Ryan hollered back, not ceasing in his efforts of ridding this island of anything worth living for. Shane grabbed at his pistol. He should shoot the fucker right now, events of last night being damned. 

He should. Ryan was not even looking at him. 

Ugh, he couldn’t. “What are you even trying to do?”

“The entirety of the Royal Navy is looking for me,” Ryan said, finally turning towards him. “I guarantee you, someone will have seen it by now.” 

“Bah! Did you forget that they’re looking for the Watcher? And not some random island on fire?” 

Ryan did not bother to respond and Shane managed to wrestle away half an empty bottle of rum. “This is mine,” he snapped. “Don’t come crying to me when this plan fails and you want another drink as an excuse to jump me again.”

Ryan blushed scarlet but carried on his mental break, chucking bits of driftwood at an already blazing fire. 

Shane stomped off, towards the other side of the island where the smoke was down wind and not making him feel like he was going to choke on ash with every breath he took. The kid was nuts, and he should have done them both a favour and just shot -

The sight of white sails and the Company flag raised on the mast gave him pause. 

“Oh, he’s going to be intolerable.”

* * *

Commodore Chirico did not look too pleased to see Shane board first. “Madej, been a while, hasn’t it?”

“Lovely to see your gorgeous face, Kristin,” Shane said belligerently, glad enough to be back on a hard deck of a ship that he barely cared he was in Union company and would no doubt be back in chains again. Whatever, he just never wanted to see that godforsaken island again. “Been what, three years since you failed to catch me?”

“Heard you lost the governor’s daughter,” Ruggirello said, still working on hauling Ryan up. “How did that happen?” 

“Yeah well, shit happens sometimes.” 

Chirico made a face. "Well at least you didn’t get-”

Shane watched her stop talking immediately, eyes focused on something behind her. He looked back in time to see Ryan clamber up the railing. He shot him a wan smile. “Guess your plan worked. Congratulations, dipshit.”

“Your Highness!” A giant of a man in court wear stammered, rushing forward. “Thank goodness you’re safe!” He put out a hand to steady Ryan, who brushed him off. Shane felt as if there were drums beating inside his head. Your Highness? But that would mean. _Wait._ What?

“I’m alright, Keith. Just a bit banged up.” He looked at Shane, chin up as if he knew just what had been revealed. “We’re gonna have to get moving. We need to get Sara back.”

**Author's Note:**

> this was a part of a greater pirate au i never had the guts to finish. might do so, but for now this stands as a stand alone.


End file.
